“Jesus walked away or let others walk away for a variety of reasons.” Gary Thomas outlines these in his new book, When to Walk Away. He warns that toxicity (what you should walk away from) is not synonymous with difficult people or circumstances. Jesus came to “to seek and to save the lost” (Luke 19:10), and the lost are difficult people in difficult circumstances by definition. Toxic people are difficult, but in a soul-killing, relationship-destroying way. Toxic people excel in at least one of three things: “a murderous spirit, a controlling nature, and a heart that loves hate.” Above taken… Continue reading
Abuse and respect are opposites. Abusers are far more conscious of what they are doing than they appear to be. However, even their less-conscious behaviors are driven by their core attitudes.
Betrayal/infidelity is NEVER the fault of the spouse. It is a always a selfish, abusive choice made by the adulterer.
Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, (in the midst of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.) Today, I honor the memory of my sweet baby girl, who was gone way too soon, as well as my other 2 babes I never got to meet. Although this month I am mainly highlighting Domestic Abuse Awareness month, this other loss is important to honor also. Grief comes in many varieties. I remember in the beginning of my divorce, from an adulterous, abusive, arrogant man, that I learned that the grief of losing your marriage can be 100 times… Continue reading
Projection is a common form of abuse used by narcissistic abusers, blaming the victim for what they themselves are guilty of doing.
Abuse, adultery, addiction and abandonment have broken the homes and lives of the wives and children. Escaping those to get healthy and raise children in a healthy environment is not the broken part. It is creating a better, healthy, and freely whole life!
Boundaries are a huge issue in abuse. Some infer that the victim isn’t setting boundaries, and if they’d just set boundaries, the abuser would know he couldn’t cross the line and would stop. This is not true in most cases. Many abusers not only throw temper tantrums in the face of boundaries, but also see boundaries as a dare to violate them, and ramp up abuse when boundaries are set. Boundaries are definitely needed, but not at the cost of your safety.
I interrupt this month’s current series, with a related “awareness day” post. Today is World Mental Health Day, and this year’s focus is suicide prevention. These two “awareness” issues are related. Domestic abuse causes many mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, etc, and suicidal thoughts for some. Emotional abuse is a destroyer of the soul. But there is hope and help for mental health, regardless of its cause. Healing for the brokenhearted is Jesus’ heart.
Sadly, this happens too often. Church, What would Jesus do? Heal the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, set free those who are oppressed.