How Mixed Media Ruined My Art

How Mixed Media Ruined My Art…

But brought healing to my soul.

Perhaps you can relate in some way.

Are you being held back from creating because you think you can’t do it? Won’t be any good at it? Don’t have any natural talent for it? Can’t take the time to do it if it doesn’t turn out great? Were you driven to perfectionism as a child? Or did an abuser shame you into it as an adult? Were you an overachiever? Put that pressure on yourself?

What holds you back?

My Journey

Creating with a goal of perfection came early in my life. 4-H, Home Ec, evaluating and judging every stitch, line, crumb. Not to mention grades, ribbons, awards. In more recent years, an instructor told me, “Just go for a C, take the pressure off of yourself.” I couldn’t do it. Getting past school, things didn’t change much. Out of financial necessity, nearly every gift given was handmade, requiring it to be “just right.” I always wanted to do my best at whatever I did, but wasn’t driven by competition, nor the false belief that anything could actually be perfect. But I still had to strive, to get things “just right”.

Living in an abusive situation my whole adult life only intensified perfectionism, into all areas of my life. It was expected out of me, much moreso than others. Including in my “Happy Place” of creating. That Happy Place was so therapeutic in my getting out of abuse, in fact for my whole life, but it still wasn’t a place of full freedom.

I kept creating, mainly for others, which still brought some stress of it being the “right thing” and “good enough” for giving, alongside the joy of doing the creating. Abuse trauma is an ugly, harsh task-master to heal from. But healing and creativity are a match made in heaven—literally.

Healing through Creativity

As I continued to create, and heal, I also gained the realization that I could create just for me. With no end purpose. No one judging. To take time doing something just because it was enjoyable. Who would’ve thought it? Spending time on something that didn’t have an immediate productive purpose. Just for the enjoyment and benefit of doing it.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty! Ironically, the place that I began to find freedom in creating was in Bible Art Journaling. Now, most people are hesitant to mark up their Bibles, and feel anything they put in it must be “just right”, no mistakes, perfect. I took the opposite viewpoint.

I went in with the viewpoint that God knows every minute thing about me. He knows my thoughts and feelings, my strengths and weaknesses, my gifts and talents—and lack thereof. My every imperfection. Yet He desires me to express myself to Him. To worship Him through my imperfections. There is no shame in His presence. I can pour out my thoughts, feelings, hurts, joys. My worship. My imperfections. He already knows them all. And loves and accepts me through His Son Jesus’ perfection.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I suddenly didn’t care about my creations looking nice. But I could (at least at times) be totally free, and create with no inhibitions of being imperfect holding me back. I began to give myself permission to make “ugly art”—even in my Bible. As a pouring out of myself, in that moment, to God.

I began experimenting with different creative techniques, ones that didn’t have the predictable results I’d been trained to go for. More “abstract” art styles that I’d never cared for as “art”. Paint pouring. Gel printing. Art journaling. And layers upon layers of various mediums—mixed media, with its therapeutic benefits beyond just the basic benefits of creating in general.

God was opening new creativity doors, deepening my healing, expanding my understanding of art forms. And bringing broader Freedom!

Layer by therapeutic layer, mixed media art journaling was healing my soul. Artistically, as I released the idea of creating a perfect product with regimented techniques to produce a predictable result. And emotionally, as I released my thoughts and feelings through color, design, movement, and texture. Journaling, but not in words—or only very few of them, on the page.

Over the last several years, art-work has not only been a happy creative place for me, but it has also been heart-work, a deeply healing place of no judgement or perfection.

Mixed media “ruined” my perfectionistic attitude toward my creativity. It led to me creating very many very imperfect works. It took any “shame” out of investing time into creating just for the process instead of the finished product. It provided therapeutic, healing benefits, soul care and transformation—that I much needed.

Your Journey

Are you looking at art as only a finished perfect product, not a transformational process? This healing and freeing process can change your life too. Stay tuned (Subscribe) to get part 2 of this article.

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Living Coram Deo & freely whole
SDG!
~ Liberty—Life Restoration & Soul Transforming Creativity Coach

Empowering you to live a life that is Freely Whole—spirit, soul, and body—in Jesus! 

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