I lived on adrenaline for most of my adult life. But it didn’t serve me well. I’ve gone from superwoman, of 24/7/52 doing it all for everyone, to “Oh well”.
At times, over the past several years, I’ve felt “Oh well” had become my mantra. But it was much needed, and served me well.
I remember the first time I used that phrase during the divorce process about some deadline that was impossible to meet. “Oh well”. I can only do what I can do. I’m only human. First time I or anyone else acknowledged that? That I wasn’t going to die trying to do what I couldn’t.
And another time, an instructor telling me to just try for a C. Such blasphemy. Only overwork for all As.
And in a “goal setting” course I was in, where I said my goal was to Rest! No more pushing for more More MORE!
It’s been a hard change to make, adjust to. But the body and brain just can’t keep up with that constant adrenaline. That ‘always on’, along with trauma that enhances it further, takes its toll. Burn out is inevitable. And the crash can be hard.
I still find it hard to just rest, do “nothing”. But my body has forced me to, in many instances. I am learning to do what I’ve always known was needed, what my Savior calls me too, Rest! To take downtime.
This meditation and remembrances were prompted by a post from a friend today. Read Bella’s post on Facebook.
As she was told, “You’ve been running on rocket fuel all these years. Now it’s time to learn to function on gasoline, like normal people.” Bella, I agree with you. It sucks, learning to run on plain ol’ gasoline. But we—our bodies and brains—are better for it. 💖
Living Coram Deo & freely whole
SDG!
~ Liberty
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