Neurodivergence and Abuse

This isn’t my typical post, as I usually share on recognizing abuse/gaining clarity and gaining healing, recovery and rebuilding. But I feel this topic fits into gaining Clarity.

Recently I’ve heard from a lot of survivors (not therapists or professionals or advocates), blaming abuse on neurodivergence/autism or about narcissists being neurodivergent. Nope! Abuse is abuse. And narcs are abusive. Neither neurodivergence nor autism (a type of ND) cause abuse, and they are no excuse for it. If someone is ND AND abusive, the abuse is on them for their entitlement, coercion, manipulation, etc. not their ND.

When you consider the main signs of neurodivergence, narcissists don’t meet those criteria. …

Narcissism is not neurodivergence.  It is a serious and complex issue, and cheapening the term only makes it easier for real narcissists to get away with their actions. 

… narcissists get a rush from manipulating others. They seek power and control above all else, and they use other people to satisfy their own emotional needs. Genuinely neurodivergent people aren’t thinking this way. They’re simply trying to make themselves comfortable in a world that often feels uncomfortable. 

It’s insulting- and dangerous- to categorize narcissists as neurodivergent people. While it is possible for narcissists to be neurodivergent- and vice versa- you should never assume someone automatically fits within both categories.

Kim Saeed

I found this article, by Kim Saeed, today that says it probably more succinctly and clearly than I might. Click to read the rest of the article, to learn more.

Narcissism is Not Neurodivergence—Stop Grouping Them Together

Be careful of an abusive person who blames their hostile behavior on a mental illness. Many of them will use diagnoses as a cop-out, as a way to justify their harmful actions. In recent years, narcissists- especially the ones who exhibit higher levels of self-awareness- will quickly blame their narcissism or other mental health issues for their decisions.

This type of blame is another form of manipulation.

Abusers are abusers. Not because they are ND, autistic, ADHD, etc. And not even because they are narcissists. Many abusers are not narcissists. They are just plain ol’ abusers.

Living Coram Deo & freely whole
~ Liberty

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