Today I honor a very special abuse and se*ually betrayed survivor. My mama! ❤️💖❤️
My mom, like most women in her era, did not talk openly about her pain, abuse experiences, or divorce. The were no post-divorce therapists. Divorced women hopefully had friends, usually 1 or 2 close friends who were probably also divorcees, in whom they could confide. There was no healing path. Many were still grieving or hurt or without clarity 20 or 30 years later. Many remarried—2, 3, or 4 times, only getting back into the same situations. The damage never resolved.
Thankfully, my mom remarried a man very different from my adulterous, abusive “pastor” dad. A man who had been in her friend crowd as a teen, whose wife had died. Mom was happier than ever. And that marriage was longer than the long marriage she’d had with my dad.
As we were going through mom’s things, after she died, we found a saved page from her teenage autograph book. A page in which her young teen friend had written a verse about mom marrying that man, who didn’t come back into her life until about 40 years later. But she indeed did marry him, her last love (and first?). I cherish that paper.
Today I smile, remembering my mom’s happy latter years, after so many painful hard years that she never could share much about. Years of abuse, betrayal, years caring for a handicapped daughter, years as a single mom with 4 children at home going into the work force for the first time and having to strive her way up from cashier to nurse, her years with no support—I’d say back when they didn’t go after deadbeat dads, but they still don’t. Years with no help, no real support. The trauma she endured alone. Just figuring it all out, mostly on her own. 😢 I’m so glad she got a happy ever after. 💖
I share today because today is my mama’s birthday. 🥳 🎂🎈She’s been gone since 2016. There are still so many times I just want to call her—and carry on a mostly one sided conversation. 😂 She wasn’t much of a talker on the phone, but did so in our in person visits. I would go visit her today for that 2 sided convo, if I could. I’m so glad I made the 300 mile trip to do so, many, many times a year (many times a month) in her last couple of years or so of her life. I wasn’t allowed to for most of my life. 😭
Since I was just starting my own journey out from an adulterous, abusive man at that time, mom assured me she was going to see me through. She was my strong support—in spirit, as her physical body was withering away. We never got to the point of her sharing her whole story of all she went through. We focused on the happy parts of her life. She never saw me through my struggle through the wilderness but she did see me past my Red Sea. She died just shortly after I filed for divorce, on the same day as my initial court hearing for temporary orders.
Today, here’s to my Super Survivor role model. My mama, who showed me you can get through anything. My mama, who modeled perseverance through the hardest of times. My mama, who demonstrated the determination to get out of a destructive marriage no matter the cost. My mama, who proved to me that there can be a full life after utter destruction.
Love & Miss You so much, mama!
💝
Living Coram Deo & freely whole
SDG!
~ Liberty
#beautyfromashes #freelywhole
Life Restoration & Therapeutic Creativity Coach
Providing Soul-healing, beauty from ashes, content through Creativity & Coaching—to empower you to live a life that is Freely Whole—spirit, soul, and body—in Jesus!
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